Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Burning Man 2012: How was your trip?

A frequent conversation I've been having lately-

Person I know:
Hey how was your trip? 

*Huge deep breath*...Well I...
White Trash Minnie Mouse and her megaphone
introduced myself to Kostume Kult for the 10th time - saw people smile at me like it was the 1st time, felt a REAL hug, reaffirmed what I already knew - people will do whatever you tell them to if you are speaking into a mic or megaphone, rode on a tiki bar with 12 people during a daylight whiteout while Riders on the Storm played on the stereo, climbed a sinking pirate ship, biked in the bumpy ghetto of 2 to 3 o'clock, zipped down a very unsafe zip line, was lectured by Safety Taco, had a personal dream come true by getting a tour of the Never Was Haul with Tempe, complained about being a sober Runway MC - 10 people ran to me with booze, took a baby wipe shower - felt pretty good about it, took at real shower - felt like a new person, peed in a hot sauna of a porta potty at noon, heard Jungle in the morning OOohhing,  AAhhing and complimenting mostly women on the runway, ate next to nothing all day then ate gourmet food every night that saved my life, asked a dead sexy man via megaphone to rub his scruff on me, said some more inappropriate things while MCing, carefully climbed to the top of Mal-Mart to marvel at the view of Black Rock City, dove down 20,000 leagues deep under the playa with sexy pirates aboard the Nautilus X,  danced with hot pirate maiden Laura, resurfaced at a movie theater, resurfaced at concert of fire jets, lost my freaking mind, jumped ship, swam with Tom back to camp, collapsed in my tent, ate pancakes with Poddy All The Time, talked to so many strangers which I normally hate doing, hugged everyone again, had a moment at the Temple of Juno, cried over other peoples dead pets, made promises to myself that I probably won't keep, helped Cha Cha build the balloon chain, didn't turn on my cell phone, faithfully followed our fearless leader DK, became one with the dust, was a Zombie/White Trash Minnie Mouse/Bad Bunny/Pirate Captain/Santa/Pink Kitten, dressed a man in a prairie dress which he loved, changed peoples perspective on costumes, felt proud when I told people I was a member of Kostume Kult, made people "get sexy with it" on the runway, couldn't quite get anywhere on time, indulged in the simple act of cuddling, saw rain and lightning for the first time on playa, danced at a safari with hot Australian giraffe and buffalo, showed off my assets, watched a Dragon Theater Shadow Show, waved to art car riders, pedaled a bike bar, got dirty with a dusty boy,
Riders on the Storm
hopped in the Billion Bunny March, marveled at how that silver spaceship stays upright, did a pickle back *or 23*, rode my bike drunk with a drink in my other hand, practiced safety third, fell off a piece of art, fell deeply in love with everyone in KK, was very entertained by Johnny Letrik, had a white wedding with Noodle, laughed with Dusty Lashes, marveled at Charlie Won's energy, was rubbed down with SPF by Babba the Love Sponge, had a tent party at Cowboy Roys, watched the Bull burn with Constantino, was envious of Maddie's free spirit, shared my secret crush(s) with Maria, heard a lot of tent sex, nearly came face to d*ck with a shirt c*cker, saw the sun come up MULTIPLE times, watched a lot of sh*t burn, was in awe of how attractive everyone in our camp is, enjoyed the sound of my own voice on a megaphone, acquired a lot of new costumes, watched our frontage come down, demooped for hours, wished I could stay just a few more days, watched the playa disappear in out the back window.

Passenger aboard Nautilus X.
Most frequent responses:
*Blank Stare*
Wait, were you just telling me about a dream you had?
You went to Birmingham?!
I just couldn't deal with no shower for a week.

Bad Bunny's Good Side

Its hard to put into words for others an experience that forever alters your life, even the second time around. Each burn is different but so far both of mine have started the same. The first night I have anxiety that a week is too long to spend in this desolate wasteland. "What have I done?!", I think. The next few days are filled with people and things that do not exist out side of this dried lake bed we inhabit for such a short time. The hours and days fly by. My body acclimates to the new environment and I stop noticing there is dust all over my fork when I put it into my food. The energy builds steadily throughout the week and when the man finally does burn that 1 mile circle is the center of the universe. You can't imagine there is anything else going on in the world. Its a beautiful week long escape. Everyone asks me if I will do it again next year, my inner burner smirks, she will be back. 

Below is the video I took this year. Unfortunately a dying battery prevented me from taking more. 


  1. So glad you liked it, Jungle.
    It barely scratches the surface of the experience I had this year. :)

    Big Hugs.